I recently attended the U.S. Army Recruiting Command's Pre-Command Course to give a presentation to the spouses attending with their Soldiers.

I had the opportunity to listen to the concerns, thoughts, and ideas from those who live the life of an Army Family. I was humbled by the dedication, concern, and appreciation our attendees have for their new recruiting mission.

Recruiting is exciting and challenging. It is not an easy job, as a matter of fact, it is extremely tough. A Soldier-recruiter is home, but yet away from home almost 24/7. Although with an understanding, supportive family, and a Recruiting Command commander who understands the dynamics of healthy families, recruiting can be rewarding. You are representing the U.S. Army.

I for one am proud of those who serve so faithfully in the very demanding recruiting mission and the Army families who support them. I am a civilian today, not wearing the uniform, but I too represent the Army. This is a fact all our Recruiting Command attendees understood. Uniform or not, we represent the Army, and we are all recruiters.

There's a bit of truth to the phrase that actions speak louder than words, and therefore it is the impressions we make on others that serve as influences.

As a young teenager my basketball coach told me one day that there is always someone younger than you looking up and saying, "I want to be just like you." In my youth I never really believed in that statement, it wasn't until later when a young kid came up to me and told me he wanted to be just like me. The reality set in ... am I giving this young person the right impression?

The impressions we make as recruiters can influence a young person to make the profound decision to serve our country. This decision has meaning and consequences for our nation and the person choosing to serve.

At the end of the day when America's youth transition into their new Army life, recruiters can say I did my part. I made a difference. For those young recruiters and families out in hometown USA, thank you for what you do and thank you for allowing me to be a part of your team.

The Casualty Memorial Affairs Operations Center (CMAOC) launched a new resource for survivors in effect immediately. The Families First Casualty Call Center (FFCCC) assists surviving family members with their needs for long term advocacy and support services. The FFCCC staff is working to provide compassion, understanding and advocacy for surviving families needing follow-up assistance through an integrated personal approach.

The FFCCC is open from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday, and may be reached by calling toll-free 1-866-272-5841; by e-mail at FFCCC@hoffman.army.mil; or by mail at Commander, Army Human Resources Command, ATTN: AHRC-PEC (FFCCC), 200 Stovall Street, Alexandria, VA 2233.

In light of a recent compromise of Soldiers' and veterans' personal information from the Department of Veterans Affairs, information on how you can protect yourself is available at www.ArmyFamiliesOnline.org, keyword "IDTheft."

A new version of a postage stamp commemorating the Purple Heart, and all those who have earned it, was issued in a ceremony May 30.

During the ceremony, two veterans of the war in Iraq were awarded Purple Hearts by R. James Nicholson, secretary of Veterans Affairs. "The Purple Heart celebrates the indomitable spirit of ordinary Soldiers in extraordinary situations; it embodies our country's earliest traditions of service and sacrifice," Nicholson said before presenting the Purple Heart to Spec. Michael Hilliard and Spec. Ian Wagner.

The stamp is a new version of the Purple Heart Definitive stamp, first issued in May 2003 by the U.S. Postal Service. The USPS is proud to recognize the Purple Heart with this stamp, because it reminds Americans of what people have suffered in the name of freedom, said John E. Potter, postmaster general and chief executive officer of the U.S. Postal Service.

"The award and the men and women it honors say so much about our nation," Potter said. "In reissuing this stamp today, we have 50 million chances to tell that story again."

"Every person who dons a military uniform knows the sacrifices they may have to make, but they still choose to serve and America should not forget their dedication," said James C. Miller, chairman of the USPS Board of Governors.

The Purple Heart stamp will go to millions of homes on cards and letters and will be a testament to the sacrifices of servicemembers past and present, he said.

"It is fully in our power to remember their service and to revere their deeds," Miller said.

About 100 Purple Heart recipients attended the ceremony at the invitation of the Military Order of the Purple Heart. James Randles, the order's national commander, thanked all those who made the issuance of the stamp possible, and said that the stamp is very important, because it is a recognizable symbol that has meaning to servicemembers of all ages from all services.

"It is the one medal wanted by few but worn by many," Randles said. The Purple Heart is awarded in the name of the president to members of the military who have been wounded in combat or to the next of kin of those killed in action.

The stamp features the medal's image — a profile of George Washington on a purple background within a heart-shaped medallion. The stamp image is a photograph of one of two Purple Hearts awarded to James Loftus Fowler of Alexandria, Va. Fowler was a lieutenant colonel in the 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines, when he received the Purple Heart in 1968 following action close to the Ben Hai River on the border between North and South Vietnam.

The Army wants to allow re-enlisting Soldiers to transfer their GI Bill benefits to their spouses. The benefit transfers, which will probably be launched later this year would be in lieu of receiving a Selective Re-enlistment Bonus. Specific details should be available by early summer, according to Pentagon sources, and would likely begin as a pilot program targeted at active-component enlisted Soldiers.

If the pilot program is successful, "the Army may explore expanding it to all Soldiers, as well as offering a similar program to reserve-component Soldiers eligible for Montgomery GI Bill-Selected Reserve benefits," said Maj. Gerald Conway, chief of the enlisted professional development branch, Office of the G-1.

Congress authorized the services to establish GI Bill transferability programs within guidelines set by lawmakers four years ago. But the authorization is unfunded, and none of the services has offered transferability options for recruitment or re-enlistment.

The Defense Department notified Senate and House leaders that the Army was developing a transferability program and planned to offer it in fiscal 2006 as a retention incentive, according to fiscal 2007 materials sent to Capitol Hill in February.

The law authorizing the program (section 3020, Title 38 U.S. Code) generally restricts transferability to Soldiers who have completed at least six years in service, have a critical military skill and who re-enlist for four through six years of service.

While the law authorizes transfers to dependent children, the initial Army plan apparently will limit transfers to spouses. Soldiers who participate in the GI Bill qualify for 36 months of educational benefits. But the congressional transfer rules do not allow more than 18 months to be signed over to an eligible spouse or dependent.

"One policy change we are considering is to offer to some re-enlisting Soldiers — Soldiers with critical skills — the option, instead of a bonus, of transferring to their spouses some of their [Montgomery GI Bill] benefits," Conway said.

"This would be a pilot program targeted to the retention of active-component enlisted Soldiers in critical military skills," he said.

Education benefits are among the priority issues for the Army Family Action Plan, the strategic guide for support and services to families, Conway said. "We know that we recruit Soldiers, but retain families."

Under rates that took effect Oct. 1, basic GI Bill benefits for Regular Army Soldiers range from $30,240 ($840 per month) for an enlistment of two years to $37,224 ($1,034) for enlistments of three, four, five or six years.

Soldiers who enroll when they enlist contribute $100 per month during their first year of service. When they leave the service, participants have 36 months of educational benefits they must use within 10 years.

There is an Army-specific add-on to this entitlement program called the Army College Fund for enlistment applicants who have a high school degree and who have scored well on the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery.

It is not clear if Army College Fund benefits would be included in the transferability pilot program.

Consistency is key for children as their military parents deploy, a university psychologist said.

Dr. Frederic Medway, psychology professor at the University of South Carolina, has been publishing research on family separation issues since 1987. He said his work has shown that while children of different ages have different needs, if parents offer as consistent an environment as possible, their kids tend to fare better.

"Set the tone early," Medway told American Forces Press Service during an interview at the Pentagon. "Try not to make many big changes while deployment happens."

That's easier to do with young children, he said. Parents have a lot more control when their children have not yet started school, and they should use that time to foster an environment of safety and stability because other challenges abound.

Common childhood fears of things like animals and thunder often get compounded when children are thinking about a parent in a hostile zone, and explaining away those fears is tricky.

"Younger children won't understand abstract concepts such as time," he said. Checking off dates on a calendar or explaining, "Mommy comes home in a year," may not make much sense to them, so keeping big changes to a minimum helps them feel better.

With school-age kids, the situation becomes more complex, Medway said. They have more going on in their lives at school and with friends. Offering a consistent environment can be difficult for the parent at home, especially if the parent is working as well as raising the child.

As children reach adolescent age, parents must be especially sensitive to what they are going through.

"I think the teen years are especially tough because teens are notorious at not talking to their parents about things," Medway said. "I think this is a population that we as mental health people really need to watch out for."

Medway said young teens also have access to information and an ability to grasp it that younger children do not. "Often they are worried, watching TV, CNN, hearing rumors."

Another defining problem for adolescents is a wish to be the same as everyone else.

Financial issues, lack of access to a car, clothes not jazzy enough, and other problems become an excuse to lash out, he said.

"I think, unfortunately, a lot of these children look for something to attribute that to, and in some cases they will get angry with the stay-at-home parent because the other parent is overseas, and their family isn't like everybody else," he said.

For these reasons and others, setting the tone early in terms of communication is critical to creating consistency for children once they go to school, Medway said.

"You've really got to start working on that open communication at age 4, because by the time your child hits 12 they may naturally shut down a little bit, and if you don't have good communication in the beginning, it's certainly going to be difficult by the time they're in that 12-to-14 range," he said.

Families who have a parent deployed certainly see long-lasting effects due to separation and sacrifice, Medway said. These are lifelong consequences that will change the course of where that family is going, but not always for the worse. He mentioned that military kids often learn to be more independent and outgoing than their peers, for example.

Medway also explained that each phase of deployment poses different challenges, and families who educate themselves tend to do better. "I think it's so important to be informed, and that really means go to all the briefings that your unit has. Everything sort of starts there."

Medway also suggests getting supports in place long before separation starts, which means talking with friends, parents, grandparents and on-base family aids.

"The months surrounding homecoming often offer the biggest challenges," Medway said. Part of that is due to high expectations.

"We expect that everything is going to be very well and very good, but Soldiers change, and families change, and oftentimes the very early period is a good period, but sometimes after 30 days or 60 days, there are some little bumps in the road," he said.

"These bumps in the road are really a function of being apart from your loved one. They're not so much a function, necessarily, that your loved one was separated because of military service, because we see the same thing in long-term business travel, in missionary kinds of work, etcetera."

A combination of patience and consistency tends to help families most, he said. Research during the 1991 Persian Gulf War revealed that children's behavior often got worse during the reunion stage than it was during deployment.

The child was responding to one parent who was consistent with himself," Medway said. "When you bring a second person back in, and their view of parenting may differ based upon the first person, that can throw the kids for a loop."

Another important aid in coping, one often left as a last resort, is the mental health service available in the community. "Get to problems early," he said. Teachers, school psychologists and school counselors are often great sources of help for kids, while military assistants, family doctors and chaplains can do a lot for parents.

Commonly asked questions from parents about deployment

Q: What is the best way to prepare children for deployment? A: Parents must be honest, and focus on their children's safety, security and continuity of routine. If deployment will change the child's lifestyle such as moving, living with grandparents, or changing childcare, school or community activities, the child needs to hear of these things in advance. Q: How else can we reassure our children about a deployment? A: First, parents should digest the information before they communicate it to children so they can deliver it in a calm and reassuring manner. Second, children worry about the safety of the deployed parent. It is important to let children know that the deployed parent is trained to do their job. Third, it is important to communicate in a way that your child will understand based on their age. Q: How do children signal their distress? A: Stress affects children like it does adults. Children may complain of headaches, stomach distress and sleep disturbances. They may display moodiness, irritability, low energy, and have more dramatic reactions to minor situations such as stubbing a toe. It can be difficult sometimes to sort out normal distress and more serious problems. If in doubt, seek medical advice. Q: Are there ways to reduce stress on children during the separation? A: Yes, one very positive way is emphasize to your children that they have a job that is as REAL as that of the deployed parent. Stress is often the result of feeling helpless or unsure or unclear about a new role or situation. It is important to reinforce that doing well in school, helping out at home and being cooperative is a skill set that is part of their job, one that is valued and unique to their being a military child. When children do their job they help support their parent's mission. Q: How should school problems be handled? A: If there is concern about a child's behavior at home, parents should notify the school. Many parents may be reluctant to call attention to their child by warning school officials, but it is important for the school to be alert to any unusual symptoms. If a child has had psychiatric issues before the deployment they are more likely to have problems as a result of the deployment. It is important to talk to your child about any acting out, and get them to discuss their feelings and issues. Your child's school or your primary care doctor can arrange for counseling services.

Experts in military medicine and family trauma who understand the impact of deployment on families have written this article. It is in the form of commonly asked questions followed by their responses. It is important to remember that while deployments are stressful, they also provide opportunities for families to grow closer and stronger.

The best way to help children cope is to: 1) reassure them that the deployed parent is trained to do his or her job; 2) explain to children that they, too, have a job as part of the family at home who supports our troops and our nation; and 3) communicate in ways that children can understand according to their age.

General tips for communicating with children of all ages

Be careful about sharing your emotions with children. Some parents share too much (losing control in front of kids) or share too little (no emotion or giving the message that you can't talk about it). Children take their cues from you.

Keep up the routine. Activities, such as games, schooling, bed times, are important to keep regular. Continue to celebrate birthdays or other special occasions with enthusiasm.

Have your spouse before or while deploying record chapter books on a cassette recorder to be played back to young children. This helps with separation and attachment issues. Likewise, help your children create scrapbooks, video or journals to send or share upon return.

Listen to your children and their concerns. Children may think a lot and have worries/concerns about their parents that are difficult to express. Be available when they are ready to communicate.

Limit television and other media coverage of the war to help reduce anxiety and worries.

Take care of yourself! Find time to rest, see a movie or do something just for you. Accept help from family or friends if feeling overwhelmed or in need of time out. We are all more vulnerable to stress when we are tired, and can manage better when we are rested and in tune with ourselves.

Seek professional help from your military or civilian community in the event of special circumstances such as serious injury or death of loved ones. Help is available from people who are experienced in such matters and care.

Communicating with children about deployment

Parents need to communicate with children in ways that are developmentally appropriate. Timing and what is being shared are important factors. At home parents also help their children communicate with the deployed parent in age appropriate ways. Here are some simple explanations of what children can grasp at certain ages.

Three- to 4-year-olds — No concept of time. A three year old thinks that three months is next week. Parents need to use markers, such as, "Dad or mom will be home right before your birthday or before this holiday."

Early elementary school — Better understanding of time. They understand that three months is a long time. Calendars are helpful. You can mark the calendar and say, "This is the day that Dad or mom is supposed to come home."

Seven- and 8-year-olds — Understand time and bigger concepts. They will be able to look at calendar and mark it. You can say, "This is the day dad or mom is supposed to come home." This age group understands concepts like good and bad. You can say dad or mom is going away to take care of the bad guys or bad things.

Nine- through 12-year-olds — Abstract thinking has begun. They are aware of the news and can understand concepts like the "national good." You can put out a return date, and they will understand the timeframe. Reinforce this age group's skills by providing them with pre-stamped envelopes, as well as private email accounts for communicating.

Older adolescents — Challenging age group. This is an emotional period of time under the best of circumstances. It is an age when children need to identify with their same sex parent. If that parent is deployed, it is especially difficult for the child.

For more information, contact Courage to Care at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences, Bethesda, MD 20841-4799, or online at www.usuhs.mil.

"Why aren't they using their words?" a 7-year-old asks her mother about a bomb in the Middle East. In another house, an 11-year-old asks, "Are we going to be bombed? or maybe Washington?" She's worried about her safety.

It's painfully difficult to talk with children about war. And given kids' access to media, it's almost impossible to protect them from frightening and confusing world events.

What we say to our children depends on their age, questions they ask, and our political and moral beliefs. Whatever we feel about what's happening in Iraq and other countries, we want to encourage children to continue to be curious about the world, to value peaceful resolutions to problems, and to feel free to come to us with questions and concerns.

General guidelines:

Try to find out what your children already know about the situation in Iraq, and how they found out about it.

Let them know that you understand that what is happening in Iraq is confusing and complicated.

Let them know you're glad to be talking with them about it. Share your opinions and feelings about the bombing, whatever they are. Allow your children to express their own opinions.

Ask your children if they are worried and/or frightened about war. Even if they say, "No," you are giving them permission to have those feelings and to talk about them if they choose. In the United States, we can reassure our children that they are safe and not likely to be bombed.

However we feel about Sadam Hussein, our children should know that their Iraqi or Muslim classmates are not bad people. This is a good opportunity to debunk stereotyping.

If children want to help Iraqi children, encourage their concern and compassion. We can let them know about the International Red Cross, which can help victims of any country, even during a war.

Children under 7 need special considerations:

Keep them away from television news. Commercial programming may be interrupted by frightening news bulletins. Horrific images can cause nightmares and may awaken other fears and anxieties and they may need comforting.

Young children may not talk directly about the war, but their fears might come out in play, providing opportunities for discussion.

Reinforce the importance of using words to resolve conflicts. However you feel about the bombings, we should help children understand that, usually, violence is not a constructive option.

Did you know there's a toll-free number that DoD beneficiaries and healthcare providers treating military beneficiaries can call with clinical questions about vaccinations?

Trained nurses at the DoD Vaccine Clinical Call Center — 1-866-210-6469 — provide answers to questions about vaccinations and adverse events.